Love All Life

the abattoir

2007-10-04T17:53:00.000+10:00

Today, my group had a trip to the slaughterhouse. It really wasn;t as bad as i'd expected it to be.

bascically, the sheep are put on this conveyer belt, with their heads covered so they can't see a thing, then as they emerge to the "sticking point" (cutting point), they get to look around for about 1 second beofre electrodes are placed btw their ears and it stuns them. they go into a state of epiletic fit for about about 45 seconds where they are unconsious. before they become consious again, their necks are slashed with a very very sharp knife by 2 muslim men (so the meat is halal)

the only horrible part was when the sheep were bleeding to them, because they are fitting, some of them are still kicking and "struggling" when really, they are just in a state of fit. it was quite a sight to see an entire floor covered with bright red blood, like tomato ketcup. in fact it was gross. but torable consiering my many many more horrible, smelly, decomposing Post mortem practicals.

all those horror stories you hear about slaughtering? Not here.

yeah.. i was actually wondering if i could ever eat meat again after this trip, but i guess i still can. they were really humanely slaughtered.

One thing about this abattoir is that words like "abattoir, kill and slaughter" are actually banned! The manager of the place (processing plant they call it) is a psychologist and she took measures to entire a high standard of staff moral to enhance their productivity.

I guess working in a factory, where you do the same horrible thing everyday: slaughtering, cutting together with all the bad smell and almost no interaction or variation can bring people down. Apparently, abattoirs in the past (and some still) are extremely horrible places to work in. horrible as in not the job itself, the people too. they were rude, male dominated, rowdy, work safety was at a zero coz of knives and anger and dissatisfaction. This "processing plant" is revolutionazing these stigmas now. cool..

Oh.. but i dont think i'm ever eating suagages again.. they are really made of real intestine walls!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! everytime someone said that sausgaes are made of intestine walss i thought they wer joking. i had no freaking clue that it is true!!!! and you know what! they dont wash the insides of the intestine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they are just rolled out, washed on the outside and run thru rollers to flatten and squeeze out the insides of the intestine but no water actually runs thru it!!!

ekkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!! never again!! never again!

student hostels

2007-10-02T21:28:00.000+10:00

here's a reply i got recently from a potential housemat ebakc in singaproe. yup i have extended my adds to singapore IDP..


"Hi,
I've discussed with my parents and they both feel that it would be
better for a sotong like me to stay in a student hostel first. They
are afraid I cannot handle moving into a room without furniture.
Especially when I have to deal with a whole new environment. Haha. So
thanks anyway!"

hmm.. i dont wanns sound like i am promoting my apartment nor do i wanna be a push over or a bossy person or try acting like a mom, but..

since when did student hostels help you cope with a new environment, a new life????! yeah sure there's furniture.. they forgot to mention the bit where there is lots of hidden costs, possibly needing to share a kitchen and toilet, possibly loneliness.

I mean, if back then, someone offered to put me up for 953 (cheaper than college sq still or 975, now i know it's like 1000++) i would take it.someone who alreadi is a fren who can guide you and (she doesn;t know) but would love to help her in this tranistion because i know how it feels)

okie okie i'm just beign upset about the rejection. I mean, she replied me 2 days late!!! but i was looking forward to her. also, i am partly worried about her for thinking that student hostels are good.

she really doeant know what is coming her way...

what makes me happy

2007-10-02T19:46:00.000+10:00

I've been thinking about this for a long time... Because i told myself that i need to start doing things that make me happy. even if i dont succeed, at least i tried, so that's half happy..

- do well in studies and being competent.
- make lots of money
- dress up and be vain and look good
- pampering myself with beauty products.
- meals with friends
- birthday parties with friends
- catching up with old friends
- cooking nice meals for myself, family and frenz
- clubbing and dancing to great music all night long with party-able friends
- improving myself with skills, knowledge,...
- spending quality time with family. this does not include holidays with them. i prefer to sit around at home with them to rot, then watch tv/movies, go eat, talk...
- eating healthy food.
- eating chocolate. as long as it's not too much.

realise that shopping isn't actually on this list coz it makes me feel guilty later. so does playing sims2.

p/s: siaowen! i didn;t read ur blog before i wrote this! ahhhh ! great minds think alike..

proof of the chnages 2

2007-10-01T15:01:00.000+10:00

regarding the previous posts.. what i mean when i say that the chnages are true, is that, if you look at a past entry, i did the same quiz about sometime in the begining of last year, and on the "weaknesses" bit, there was neer a "pessimism" and a "close-mindedness"

yeah.. hence the "proof of the changes bit"

anyway, dawn came back alreadi! i had such a good time talking to her over dinner yesterday. She's so nice to be around with, she giggles, laughes and most of all, she always looks on the positive side of things. I really must learn from her.

on another notes, her mom bought me perfume.. so sweet right? so she says i take care of dawn alot.. awwwww..

Proof of the changes

2007-09-29T22:30:00.000+10:00

Dating Strengths	Dating Weaknesses
1. Appearance - 87.5% 2. Spirituality - 84.6% 3. Kindness - 81.8% 4. Financial Situation - 76.9% 5. Generosity - 73.3%	1. Vanity - 83.3% 2. Pessimism - 66.7% 3. Closed-Mindedness - 54.5% 4. Temper - 50%

Dating Strengths Explained
Appearance - Despite what some will say, appearance matters in dating. You get high marks on appearance. Just make sure you balance it out with other qualities. Spirituality - Your spiritual side brings you peace and balance, and keeps you grounded. This is attractive, as you can help reinforce this quality in other people. Kindness - You treat other people with empathy and goodwill. This positive trait helps you stand out and draw people into your warmth. Financial Situation - You've got your financial situation under control, which is a very desirable quality. Be careful to avoid guys who are only interested in your money. Generosity - You are a giving person by nature. Others will see this quality in you and recognize your kind nature. Take care not to let others take advantage of you.
Dating Weaknesses Explained
Vanity - Learn to put a lower priority on looks. Appearance is, of course, important, but vanity is undesireable. The only people you will attract are the superficial. Pessimism - Too much cynicism can be a turn-off. Try to see the brighter side of things and people will be attracted to your positive outlook. Closed-Mindedness - You are very fixed in your world-view, but if you open up a little you will see that people can hold different beliefs and still get along well. Temper - You need to work on controlling your temper. Don't let your anger get the best of you. A calm and rational persona is important when dating.
Dating Strengths and Weaknesses Quiz by Dating Diversions

growth

2007-09-29T18:23:00.000+10:00

After reading thru some of my older blog entries these few days.. I realised how some things never change

- Every now and then i still grumble about being alone and how i hate it (this is like my number 1 enemy)
- Every so and so i also whine about my barren social life
- And how i slightly regret being in this course, yet talk about saving animals all the time and how nice it is...
- How much i miss my family dearly, especially after they've gone home from a visit.
- How it pains me to see my grandma suffer from old age and chemo
- How it frustrates me to see my brother grow up like this and behave like that and do this and that...
- And the classic, my feminist side roaring, like how i hate skinny bitches who starve themselves, how i hate it when men treat women like crap.
- Declaring my undying love for my sims2 game. and how i miss it, especially during exam periods.

I also realise how much i;ve grown.. how i take things a little lighter now, how i see things differently, for example, i dont get so angry when i see a lousy movie i dont liek anymroe. how i've become so much closer to my family and how much mroe i appreciate them now. and how i've become aware of myself and my place in this place(gettit?)

but something did changed for the worse.. i realise that my past entries, though filled with pain, always ends with something light hearted. I was far more optimistic back then.
'you've always had yourself in college square" was what my fren said to me recently. true, so true.. comparing my life then to now, it's suppose to be so much better. i have a car, i have more frens (though they are all paired up and don;t go out as often as i liked, back then i didn't even go out as often), i have family here, i am graduating too, though i have mreo work, it's mreo interesting. All in all, i was just coping much better back in my days in college square.

maybe it's just for survival you know, like when you are down to the very end, you are somehow able to pick urself up so easily simply coz there is nothing else you can do to make you feel better. but whatever it is, i really want ot start it again.

now i really gotta start studying! i've blogged for an hour!

nerves once more

2007-09-27T12:24:00.000+10:00

OMG.. i've been there TWICE.. yet i feel nervous thinking about driving to my work place again. This is absolutely irrational fear! please Ning stop stressing!!! my heart rate elevates, my breathing becomes shallow and slow, my stomach become supset. i mean i've been the toilet twice today already just thinking about it. Please Ning calm down!

You've been there, they are nice, the journey is alright, Yes there are lots of cars but you are fine. you've been there. no biggie..

CALM DOWN........ breatheeeeeeeeeeeeee breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

i tell myself it's okie

2007-09-26T10:22:00.000+10:00

yeah.. just now i asked if they had eaten lunch "no, but we had breakfast"

didn't i just ask her yesterday if they were free for breakfast together?

normally, i would feel shit. but just now, i was like.."oh okie"

this i called progress.

i mean, seriously, i dont wanan care about these things anymore. i'm just nummbed to it, and it ell myself that is okie, coz i have my own company.

yesterday joonwin spoke to me about this thing that i'm going thru. very ncie of him. glad to hear that people actually cared. even if they dont, all i need to care about now is me myself and I anyway.

realli doesn't matter

we're angry, we're loud, we're union and we're proud

2007-09-26T07:17:00.000+10:00

there was this major protest on the street just now outside my window. i mean, hey, aussies protest all the time, but this was one of the biggest i've seen. the hord of people spanned both sides of the road and stretched thru 3 streets.

i think it's some work rights thing.. hmm, i'm not sure, but they were LOUD.

"we're angry, we're loud, we're union and we're proud"

"the workers, united, will never be defeated"

and they even SANG SONGS, kinda lame but catchy.

ahhhhh reminds me of the time i joined the protest in melb uni school against increase in sch fees.

ahhhhhhh Only in Melbourne..

sorrie for spamming!!

2007-09-25T11:42:00.000+10:00

sorry guys.. i just added my old blogger to my multiply one.. i hope you all didn't get spam mail!

these are like realli OLD stuff so dont bother reading.. coz i kinda added it for my own reading leisure..

ups and downs

2007-08-12T21:06:00.000+10:00

thursday: up, up, up, then DOWN, DOWN

friday: down, down, up, down

saturday: up, down, down, DOWN, DOWN, up

sunday: up, up, up, down

the extremes of ups and down are really getting to me. scratched my car.. a sudden house problem.. then ups with hopes of possible housemates.. then they all say no in the end and i go down again...

sometimes i feel that i have no purpose living in the city anymroe. i am losing all my frens here. they dont include me in theri little dinners or things or we dont do the same things anymore. then sometimes i feel that the city still has a space for me, that i still have some frens here. but sometimes i feel that they are not here when i need them. or at least that by the time they realise it's too late. i feel abandoned every now and then. as though they have forgotten me.

i know people are moving on. they have their own frens now, their new clicks. while i'm still trying to hang on to some stuff that are obviously trying to drift away from me. this feeling of abandonment i get every now and then makes me feel that i should just stay in werribee. i mean.. would you rather sit alone in a room full of ppl you dont know or sit alone in a room full of ppl you know who dont want to sit with you for whatever reason?

sometimes i feel that some people are actually annoyed with all my crying and sad things. they act as though i'm not there or do or say things that make me feel so left out. i have nothing to say to them. they have no idea what i am going thru. they have no idea about anything in my life that is sad or happy. they dont know.

another thing is, i cannot stand it (a positive way) whenever someone asks "are you okie?" because i'm obviously not. to me.. asking me that qns just makes me think of all the horrible things that happened to me so far and i'm like realli trying to control my emotions here. i'm the kind of person that.. if you say "dont cry", i have this tendency to cry even more. i dunnoe why.. it justs gets to my emotions. it's not that i dont want anyone to not say " are you okie?" i mean.. that's like the nicecess thing int eh world to say to a sad girl. just that.. it touches me soo much that i tend to tear.

i'm sorry for leaving a grad photo taking session like that. it wasn't my intention to do that. it's just that.. all that "are you okie?" qns really got me thinking of my problems. and i'm not ready to face them without crying and breaking down yet. there i just did it again.. i typed the word cry and i nearly teared. Sheesh what the hell is wrong with you chuanning?

everyone looked so happy there i didn't want to spoil the fun and be the wet blanket. sigh.. i hate to say this but happy ppl around me making alot of happy noises when i'm depressed doesn't help either. then someone asked me to organise something and i couldn't take it anymroe. Me? organise something? will ppl come? will ppl bother? who am i? i mean.. do they even care? it just got me thinking of all my frens and how i was loosing them. i guess that's the problem with joining a group. once you stop activities with them, it stops too. also.. someone was very insensitive and mentioned that i should move to werribee becoz i was MIA.... yeah thanks a lot.

i know some of them are genuinely concerned. 1 called, 1 msn-ed (thanks..). some asked my cousin (thanks but i dunnoe who u are). so thank you.

ahhh.. my house my house my house. first there was this 2 girls who might want to share the room. but in the end they wanted their own room. then there was lisa's fren. in the end she said no coz she said she doenst want to stay with someone she doesn't know. it's just heart breaking to have hope and then see that hope wash away like that. i keep thinking about who my new housemate is going to be? if it's someone i dont know then will we get along? will i drift away from my frens even mroe since the new housemate is not from any part of my previous group? will she be honest? is she nice? ahhhh now i know the fears of taking a new housemate in (i'm sorry estella..)

all i can tell myself now is to cope. do things that make me feel good. study, eat well, live well, pamper myself, exercise (right), have fun and make new frens. it's time to move on.

i hope a get a good housemate soon

NEW BLOG LINK

2007-05-06T21:12:00.000+10:00

for all the lazy bums out there who have not been viewing my blog coz they dont wanna sign up to multipy, and for those not so blur blocks who think they needt o sign up tmultiply to read my blog...

you still can read my blog via this link.

http://ningning1306.multiply.com/

Moved

2007-04-29T21:13:00.000+10:00

in case some people didn't notice, I'VE MOVED to multiply.

reasons:

- blogger is giving me a lot of problems, i can't use it with internet explorer.. no idea why, and on firefox, it's SLOW....

- multiply has soooo many more features.. so interesting..

- I have some private things that i use to blog on my other blog but with multiply, i can use just 1 site to customise who i want to see or dont see and so on.

- multiply enables me to distribute photos to ppl. next time flarians, let ME take the pictures, coz i never get any from you guys!!! hmpfff!

alright, so go to multiply's website: http://multiply.com/ , and add me at ningning1306@hotmail.com.

see yah!

teehee

2007-04-09T00:51:00.000+10:00

moving moving.... to multiply!!!

LOLLIPOPS

2007-04-04T22:17:00.000+10:00

The lollipops:

they are everywhere. esp on chinese KTVs.

yes, the lollipops are the girls who have skinny frames, so skinny that thier heads look like lollies compared to their think frames. size6 or sometimes 4 pants dont even sit nicely on thier hips, it looks like baggy pants on them.

i on the other hand fill up a nice size 8.

sigh.. but sometimes i wonder what men really find attractive, like REALLY.

you know how they always go "why girls like to be skinny? we like a little bit of something to hug/grab/grope/whatever"

BULLSHIT. you know you want that skinny bum like jo-lin tai or chai? whatever that lollipop's name is, or all the other skinny skinny skinny chinese/cantonese/taiwanese singers/actresses. i mean, i have heard many countless times of how my girlfrenz tell me that their boyfrens want them to lose weight. that they are fat.

are they fat? you guessed it, SO NOT FAT. it;s just "not slim enough for them"

Monica Bellucci, the italian sex goddess once said that she thinks men who worship skinny women are afraid of the larger more fuller ones because they are AFRAID they are cannot handle a WOMEN. so they chose the GIRL. (ie the lollipop)

truth? maybe.. all men will deny this of course. or at least all asian men.

on the other hand, everytime i think about losing weight to look good for the opposite sex, i stop myself right away coz i do not belivein the torture of myself for the sake of men who think they own us or want to own us. yes, i'm a little bit of a feminist and to give them the satisfaction of seeing skinny girls is prob the last thing on earth i wanna do.

then again, i do like to feel attractive. what a dilemma...

hmm.. i chose to not care then.

boring shc-moring

2007-04-03T22:11:00.000+10:00

i hate it when people msg me then go offline immediately. it's almost coward. well sometimes i do that. but not intentionally, its to say goodbye and it's coz i have no time to wait for that person to say bye back.

it's day 2 at the fitzroy clinic. FUCKING BORING. i'm so bored, my brain flies out of my head and i feel tired.

feels like forever in the clinic. FOREVER..........................................

photos

2007-04-02T01:02:00.000+10:00

today i looked at just 3 blogs and i feel left out alreadi.

all those photos with no me inside.

why? did i do something wrong that everyone just wants to leave me alone?

or does everyone think i'm too busy to at least ask?

TMNT

2007-03-31T01:06:00.000+10:00

If all men in the world were to be classified to 4 types according to the teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles... then..............

Michelangelo... the joker, the little annoying pestering thing, the "The Flash" would be a perfect little brother or friend. He would be the kind of guy that is just so fun to be around, though at times it can be painful.

Donatello... the adorable geek, the beta male, the "Spiderman" he would be a great big brother or friend. with all his intelligence in IT and science and etc... it would make any girl happy to have him around the house. whatever the reason.

Raphael... Ahhhhh my bad boy rebel/ganster, my "Anakin Skywalker", who struggls to cope with his inner rebel, yet has that tender side to him too. it would be a bonus to be able to break into him then leave him. makes you feel especially special. This would be the type of guy girls would probably wanna have a fling with then leave him helpless and her feeling special.

and lastly.. Leonardo AHHHHHHHHHHHH, the alpha male, my "Superman", the husband material all rounder. sure he's a little up-tight but that's what makes him the mature, sensible one who not only has witts, also has a heart and a brain (not that th others dont but this one is a sure winner) and you guessed it, he would be the one girls wanna marry.

haha, girls dont you agress?

hmm.. just to make sure i'm quite right about their characters, let's see what my best friend, answers.com has to say though..

Leonardo - The de facto leader of the Turtles, Leonardo is courageous, decisive, and a devoted student of martial arts. As a strict adherent to Bushido, he has a very strong sense of honor and justice. He wears a blue mask and wields a pair of katanas. He is named after Leonardo da Vinci
Raphael - The team "anti-hero", Raphael has an aggressive nature and seldom hesitates to throw the first punch. His personality can be alternately fierce, sarcastic, and full of angst. He wears a red mask and wields a pair of sai. He is named after Raphael Santi.
Michelangelo - The easy-going and free-spirited Michelangelo provides much of the comic relief. While he loves to read comics and eat pizza, this Turtle also has an adventurous side. He wears an orange mask and wields a pair of nunchaku. He is named after Michelangelo Buonarroti.
Donatello - The brilliant scientist, inventor, and technology geek, Donatello has a reputation as something of a smart aleck. He is perhaps the least violent Turtle, preferring to use his intellect to solve conflicts. He wears a purple mask and wields the bō. He is named after Donato di Niccolò di Betto Bardi.

yeah, i did just watch TMNT. unexpectedly good show. so go watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

one thing i found very strange was why this ninja called karai had this realli wierd, almost ugly china accent. then i looked it up on my best fren (aka answers.com) and realised it was zhang zhiyi.. no fucking wonder..

lousy pay

2007-03-29T14:41:00.000+10:00

i just had a lecture a few days ago about how much an average vet would earn after they graduated..

whao lau.. fucking patheticcccccccccccccccccc

40,000 without taxes?? ELLO??? i worked non-stop for 5 years at uni witjh all my social life and fun life cut out of my life and get this pay???

i feel like my future is damn bleakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

i dont care. by hook or by crook i will make it richhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh to feed my hungry lavish lifestyle that i've always dreamed off.

maybe working for my father will even earn me more money then this even though tit is in RM...

2007-03-28T17:53:00.000+10:00

i hate it when i get woken up during my sleep,

i hate it even more when i get woken up twice during my sleep.

i hate it when my fren never ansers my call or my sms,

i hate it when my frens doesnt answer to my msg on msn,

i hate it even more when they are uncontactable and yet it's so urgent.

i hate it when my frens talk about their bfs,

i hate it when all my frens do is bf talk,

i hate it even more when all they do is talk about and talk to theri bfs.

i hate it when i get ditched my frens,

i hate it even more when i get ditched my frens becoz of bfs.

i hate it even more so when i get ditched my frens oc zof bfs even though we've already planned for stuff.

but luckily..

i like it when i see neko and my car and some good frens.

i like it when i call my parents.

2007-03-27T23:27:00.000+10:00

you're right mummy, if i dont need it, then i shouldnt feel that way and hence in that sense, i am above.

puke

2007-03-27T23:23:00.000+10:00

today was the firts time the smell was soooooooooooooooooo bad in the PM room that i had to run out of the door. at first i stumbled to and fro at the exit door coz i didn't knwo if i could walk out with my bloody apron on at the same time i didn't know where to out it if i took it off. then after about 30 seconds of pacing, i smelt that horrible smell againa, nearly puked, and i removed my apron, threw it on a clean table and bolted out the door to the toilet.

my horse was okie.. bad but not puke provoking. it was when the gp next to us opened up the rumen that that sour, fould smelling vomit and shit like smell came up my nose. i turned to see this greenish gritty stuff flowing out of the stomach onto the floor. then.. ahhhhhhh i just had to get out of there.

i'm ruling out pathology as being my speciality from now on..

2007-03-25T02:16:00.000+10:00

sometimes i felt that if i disappeared, no one would notice.

big bum

2007-03-25T01:47:00.000+11:00

i have a enormous ass. or in words of ness, a bhuge one. i'm serious. at first i thought it was the green room mirror. then i realised that my ass looked just as big if not bigger in dance studio.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh recently ive been feeling damn fucking fat! it's not true i know coz i am 1 kg lighter than the last 2 years. i am 54 now, not 55 (slight yeah). maybe it's all the skinny people that are in the dance floor. i feel enormously humongous. my arms, my legs, my BUM! even my boobs are too big!

"but it's nice" "but.. you're sexy" "but guys like that" "why you girls like to be skinny? we like bit of meat"

NONSENSE!

that is what they SAY. but not what they LIKE FOR REAL.

then again, why the heck am i bothered about what they think? i shouldn't bother! but i am vain and it bothers me that i dont look good to ppl and myself!

when i wear skinny jeans it totally pops out so horribly!!!!! so i can;t wear skinny jean. aiyah my bdy is just wierd. i have smaller waist but twice as big legs as most of my frens!

fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat.........................................................

sigh.. recently i've been having these "crashes". it's the kind of mood swing when suddenly i feel damn damn down. it happens when i suddenly realise something. like suddenly i'm the onli single girl, suddenly i have the lowest score, suddenly i am too old for this, suddenly i am left out, suddenly i'm ugly, suddenly i'm fat, suddenly i'm alone.

it usually occurs after a zenith of happiness/highness.

whenever i get that, my first instinct is to run and get myself out of there. but mroe often than not i dont coz i know i can't. i can't get out of the studio or class halfway just to go the the toilet and brood over it. i can't stop driving halfway in the highway. i can't not go out when agreeded.

so i wait till this crash goes off then things get back to normal.

it's bad.. i feel terrible whenever that happens. i hope it doens;t happen so often anymore

why we are different

2007-03-21T23:45:00.000+11:00

Neko is in heat. her constant meowing ans cooing like a pathetic little pigeon is dman annoying. not to mention she sticks her butt in my face 24-7.

i just have to get her desexed asap... ahhh but there are so many things to do! i have sch all day thru out weekdays, how do i find the time to bring her to the vet??? i did think of my sch.. but like.. they close the slinic at 5 also... WTF.......

nvm, i cna always do it int he weekends.. it'll just eat a little of my time away.

i find it sooooooo hard to accept the fact that my baby is all grown up and "wants to get laid" now. i think it's becoz she wants to get laid with anyone she sees. she sticks her butt at me and at ni and it's like.. "ELLO!!! we're your mums and we are female!!" (then again in the human world this would nto matter hahah)

she's so desperate to get mated that she doesn't eat and calls nearly all day. she doesn;t run or bite me or scratch me when i make fun of her. neither does she want to drink her favourite milk, whiskas!!!! it's like.. not neko at all!

her agressively sexual behaviour got me thinking about the needs of all mammals.. (1) food and water(2) air (3) sleep (4) sex.

you see, unlike other animals, humans can control their 4th urge. that's why rapists are often described as animals. and that;s why some people like to call their partners animals too i think..

or can we? is that 4th urge simply suppressed by cultures and traditions and society's view of what is right and wrong? are we just hiding it from other people? i mean, tvs and movies and books with pornography are all other the place! perhaps even simply being vain (with how you look) is a form of the 4th urge.

maybe we are not so different after all.

never again this late

2007-03-21T01:41:00.000+11:00

this is going to be the last time i am so unprepared for a test. it cannot happen anymore, i am in 3rd year.

then again, i dont think i was slacking.. i didn't start early coz i was studying other things, not coz i procrastinated.. so next time i shoudl study smarted and earlier and evenly and not cramp like this. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

now i'm tired and yet i cannot sleep coz i haven't finsihed.. wtffffffffffffffffffffffff

no more excuses next time

anyway, today i had to do a post-mortem for this poor little kitty less thna 1 year old. whao lao.. it is the smelliest thing i have ever smelt. the smell is still in my nose and as i was eating dinner, i thought i smelled that awwful smell, btu it was the mushrooms. it happened again when i ate bananas. but not when i was eating chocolate icecream.

ekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

why?

2007-03-20T23:14:00.000+11:00

oh no.. why didnt i start eariler?? i'm so going to fail thsi test and i'll hate myself for it...

and for the first time in my life i feel that i want to go on a holiday.

pi day! yah!!

2007-03-14T12:07:00.000+11:00

OMG.......... i'm freezing my ass off here in my vet computer lab.. are they stupid or what? it's freaking cold outside and they still turn the air con up so strong. and i can't leave the room coz i am the sole looker-after of 3 bags.. ahhhhh...

cold cold cold cold cold.....

anywayz, did any of your know, that todya is Pi day!!!!! as in pi, 3.14.

from answers.com "The Greek letter π (pi) is the symbol for the number you get when you divide the circumference of a circle by its diameter; it can't be expressed as a fraction and it goes on forever. Equal to approximately 3.14, it's an irrational and transcendental number with an infinite, non-repeating decimal expansion. So far, it has been calculated out to over a trillion decimal places. We honor π today, on 3/14, Pi Day: some college math departments have parties or ceremonies discussing π and how it has affected our lives. Some celebrate by eating pie — pizza, fruit and otherwise, drinking piña colada and playing piñata. It's fitting that today is also Albert Einstein's birthday; he was born in 1879. "

apparently, some realli hard working mathematician worked his entire life away to calculate pi to dunoe how many decimal places. then when the calculater was invented, it took a mere second...

"March 14, written as 3-14 or 3/14 in the United States date format, represents the common three-digit approximation for the number π: 3.14. Pi Day is often celebrated at 1:59 p.m."

dpnt forget to eat pie!!

overthinking is bad for you

2007-03-12T22:49:00.000+11:00

i felt ditched by a fren yesterday, i was quite hurt, then i turned it into angry. ah, my usual style. but it was so embarrassing to be all teary eyed in public.

i dont even knoe why i was sooooooo hurt, it was a small matter. i mean, that morning, i just ditched someone else. but not intentionally. it was coz i was sick.

then i realised that ever since i made the decision to not join production, i know that there will be many instances where i will feel left out. but that incident made me feel that not only am i going to be left out in my dance club prodcution, it seems that some frens have forgotten me too. that's why i was so upset.

but then again, maybe it was my fault. maybe i was a bad fren. i dunnoe.

that's why, it's time to find new activities to occupy myself and stop thinking RUBBISH like this.

i over-think. seriously.

more activities!

2007-03-12T22:44:00.000+11:00

today i came home, ate dinner, then waited for desperate housewives, then studied. there was nothing to study, so i revised last year's notes.

i felt so fucking strange lah. usually, i would be dancing or typing rubbish on my blog or watching stupid tv.. i am that lazy. but now i actually make an effort to study and revise. it's good in that sense. but it;s boring.

it's time to find more activities other than dance.. well.. since i can't join production, i'll have to find something lighter that will still keep me alive. as in lifely, not alive alive.

for a start, there's the painting thing i'm going to attend with am. yeah! now,. i also want mroe classes, mroe mroe more more more!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont know myself

2007-03-11T13:06:00.000+11:00

i dunnoe whether it was becoz i was dizzy, or becoz ni and i watched too many episodes of sex and the city, but before i slept last night, 101 thoughts started to flood my mind.

thoughts of choreography, studies, money, dance, love, work, production, games, computers, animals, work work, loneliness, feeling ignored and underappreciated, my body image, etc etc etc....

then i realised that i didn't know myself at all. in fact thinking back, most of the time when i feel emotional, i dunnoe what i am feeling until i go home and think about it. guess this time round, i have ignored my feelings so much so that they have accumulated and jumbled up to a big fat mess.

it's time to clean it up. 1 by one.

regarding dance. i have decided, that with a heavy heart, i will not do production this year. reasons are obvious, my exams start 1-2 weeks after production. not the usual 4-5 weeks anymore coz of my course structure. and i will also be having pratcical exams during possible production weeks. am i sad? of course. i can forsee myself feeling left-out everytime flarians meet up. i just hope it doesn't become so bad that it makes me wanna avoid them to avoid the pain.

regarding choreography, the song that i choreo halfway too.. i'm going to drop it. coz i feel incompetent and lousy.

my body image? feeling a little fat at the moment. the trip to the gym was bad. it made me feel lazy and fat fat fat. i felt that everyone in there was staring at me and my fat legs. if i wanna exercise, i'm going to the park to run with long pants on next time.

money issues, broke broke broke.. i had to get my lenses and glasses made and i'm going to be broke broke broke... no mroe shopping for me in a longgggggggg time. i have enough clothes anyway.

regarding my studies, i realise that classes are getting easy nowadays coz it is easy. the hard part is feeling the compulsion to revise what i learnt in the past 2 years becoz they are realli importnant now. i mean, i can just not revise and learn everything that they throw at me this year, or i could revise past year work and combine with this year's work and become fantastic. so.. i have to work harder.

i want my computer to play games! but i have to hold it off for a while coz i have no money.. after buying my insurance and car and lenses and glasses.. this has got to stop.

hmm.. i think there are some other stuff but it's jumbled up. so next time maybe..

balance

2007-03-10T11:45:00.000+11:00

this is unsual, i haven't blogged in 1 week. ONE week!

guess i was too busy trying to catch up on my sch work and taking my mom out and going for dance and resting... then again.. i remember there were many instances where i felt like blogging but i just just lazy and tired.

school has become sooooooo much interesting this year. so many practical sessions that are actually useful. but there's more work to be done. coz i have to prepare for practicals and write a report(i try) after...

i feel so tired.. shall continue later.

driving

2007-03-03T21:10:00.000+11:00

driving recently has become a very stressful for me. rude/mean drivers, poor nagivation, no self-confidence...

yesterday was the 2nd time i got lost while returning home. things were worse when my passengers insist that i was going the wrong way when i wasn't and didn't believe the map or a strnager on the street. i dont want to blame anyone. so the bottom line is, next time i wanna go somewhere, i rely on myself for navigation and directions.

to make things clear, i did not shout at anyone. i was sarcastic at some points but i did not shout. it annoyed me so much when they said that they were tired, as if i wasn't. the part that realliy got my nerves was when they didn't believe the map or the lady from kfc who worked there. and on the way home, after i tunred around, going to the right direction, they still doubted me. all the way till we passed curly joes and reached elizabeth street.

what they dont know was how fucking frightened i was driving on roads i dunnoe. no, one one also knew that i cried that night in bed traumatised by the fact that i nearly endangered 4 lives in my car becoz i couldn't see very well and i was 3am tired. even though it was 10 plus. i nearly didn't give way at a round-a-about i couldn;t see and nearly got rammed by 2 cars. i braked just in time to let half my car pass the white line.

plus, the fucking bmz1 car is still traumatising me. i come home everyday hoping that he is not on my lot becoz i dont want to have to confront him again. i'm not afriad of him , i hate confrontations. they are stressful and ugly, not nice at all to have them in my life.

i arrive at my every destination thankful that i am still safe and sound. (and my passengers)

life is not fair

2007-02-28T21:44:00.000+11:00

life is not fair.. seriously.

after giving him all the scoldings the 30 seconds permitted me to do so, i dont feel good still. that mother fucker has caused me to feel sooooooo angry and frustrated for at least half of today and all he got off with was 30 seconds of scolding.

life realli isn't fair. well, yeah he got his car buang(malay for bang i think) but he prob has so much money to fix it it doesn't matter to him anyway.

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

short skinny bastard

2007-02-28T21:15:00.000+11:00

the bmw driver is a short skinny bastard. that fucking idiot.

"it's my first time parking here"

"it's my fren's car"

"i said i'm sorry"

mtoher fucker ifyour fucking realli sorry dont fucking park here again. which u have fucking done for the past fucking year. mother fucker.

that big bang with headlights gone is your well deserved karma!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

fucking bmw 2!

2007-02-28T17:27:00.000+11:00

that stupid bmw is there again. after countless warnings from me and the conceriges, he's there again.

omgoodness. is he stupid oo what? doesn't he understand the sentence "i need this parking lot permanently now"???

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i soooooooooooooo want to go up to the 6th floor and bang down his door. but it looks like somebody got there first.

there on the left front corner of his car is a indented side with green marks. HAHAHAHAHAHA.. he got his karma.

then again he's prob sp rich it doens't bother him.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i feel like camping beside the car waiting for him to come then attack him vicously!

bloody mother fucker!

my blue monster (the other baby)

2007-02-27T22:55:00.000+11:00

this is a pic of my other baby.. hohoho... neko will be so jealous! this picture was taken at my vet sch carpark. yup, behind me is the field where the horses/cows roam.

i wanna play sims2

2007-02-25T22:04:00.000+11:00

after playing game of life last night, i thought it was such a good idea to make my own game of life.

after about 4 or 5 pages of "things that are encountered" in my own game of life associated with uni and flare life, i felt like.. hmm... i think what i realli want is to play sims.

sims2 is my escapism man.. where all my silly, impossible dreams come alive. where everything can be controled by my mouse and a few cheat codes. where i can control myself better too.

hmm.. kind of think about it, this computer is screwing up. soooooooooo.. justifiable to get a new one. HAHAHAHHAA.. i must save money.. save save save money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

go go go ning!

too kind

2007-02-23T23:37:00.000+11:00

my mum keeps telling me that i am too kind. i let ppl take advantage of me, of my finances, my things, my time etc.

i know, i know..

i dont want them too,. but sometimes, i cannot be bothered coz i dont like these feelings of hate, calculation and slyness.

and i feel that when i am unlike them like that, i am above them.

but i lose still.

firefox works

2007-02-19T22:25:00.000+11:00

OMGoodness!! i have not whined in FOREVER! but thanks to firefox, i can access it now. dunnoe what was wrong with my explorer...

Getting my car was so fun. i have yet to even take a picture with it. But somehow i feel that everytime i go out, i am endangering my life. I am after all a P.

I told my fren how i felt that the leach of the car driving population in melbourne. I am dependent on the other drivers being safe for my own safety. kinda like herd immunity in animal management. (where the population is largely immune to a disease coz most of the populatiion is vaccinated/immunised) in this case, i was like th eunvaccinated bunch.

but so far so good. Thank goodness!

i'm begining to get use to driving for 30 mins each day to sch. it's getting fun! and it somehows wakes me up for class later. unless of course the teacher is SUPER Boring then i can't help but sleep.

this years' chinese new year has been by far the saddest. but somehow i made it thru. without tears. partly coz my mom is coming, partly coz i have so many dinners and gatehring with frens and ni is back.

but yesterday's drive home from weribee was horrible. my frens and i went to my vetf ren's place in point cook (not far from weriibee) for steam boat gatehring. OMGoodness.. it was all dark, there were no lights nothing, and it was bloodly raining. i couldn't see a damn thing and it doesn't help that my navigator had no idea where we were going. i yelled at her a few times and i twas very mean of me but i was completely stressed out. 5 lives are in my hands and i couldn't see a dman thing ont he road. i had this incredible urge to stop and look at the map myself but she sounded upset and it was dangerous to stop at some place full of nothing but grass. I told myself yesterdya when i made it back home alive, that i am never going to stay there. it's isolated and i'm uncomfortable in such secluded locations. the drive to weribee everyday to sch is a price to pay for satyign close to flare frens and family.

dawn and i skipped a sheep prac today coz we were lazy. and there's a stupid wuizz tmr about microchipping. after we take that we're suppose to get a cert that entitles us to be official microchippers. hahahah i better not fail.

i heard the sad news from ni that shar's oreo died from stress today, the lump from an infection and pus had build up. sad though i was, i was quite pleased with myself for actually correctly disgnosing it. (i thought it was either tumour of infection and it was the latter) rest in peace oreo!

mum is coming tmr. i cannot wait. yippee!!! but before that, tmr i will be doing the *stick ur arm up the cow's ass* thing finally. after so many ppl have asked if i've done it, i'm goign to say yes from tmr onwards. it's going to be exciting. though i am scared.. hope things turn out well..

exciting day!! x2

2007-02-16T15:33:00.000+11:00

Yesterday, i finally finally got my car!! it was soooo... exciting, i was scared at the same time but i drove back from honda john blair to my apartment with am, in one piece! woohoo!!!

there were a few instances when i thought i was a traffic diaster coz i suddenly turned etc etc. but it went okie.

my car plate number is UPX779. not bad eh?? hahahaha

Then today was the first time i drove to sch with dawn sitting beside me! it took us about 40 mins coz i was driving at 80-90, not 100kmph. there were so many cars on the highway just overtaking me coz i was slow. ahhaha but i didn't care. it was either my safety or their convinience. and i chose the former.

i'm actually at my sch computer lab (and my fren just joined me) we are suppose to have our horse prac now but 1.5 hours into the 3hour prac, the itch on my neck became unbearable! i stopped to go to the toilet to maybe wash up abit to help it get better. then was horrified to see my face (upper lips and eyes) and my entire neck with red, extremely itchy rashes. i tried to clean up as much as i can but when i went back to the shed, i couldn't take it anymore. the very very very hot weather did not make things easy. so i told the teacher that i had to be excused and here i am. luckily the prac was quite easy.. so it was kinda alright to skip.

just now i also went for LIVE SURGERY! that's right, i did surgery on a LIVE ANIMAL! i freaked out last night when i realise that it was going to be a live animal and not a cadevar that is tudied extra hard! me, ning, revising last year and last last year's notes! it's a miracle!!!

i freaked out becoz i thought the animal was going to stil live after that, but i later found out that these dogs were "going to be out to sleep anyway" so i was mnore assured.

I volunteered to be the surgeon on my group. then when the dog came, awwwwwww it had no indication what so ever of why this dog had to be put down.. it was friendly, happy, exicted and kept wagging its tail. I looked at my fren and told her that i was "scared"(not scared of surgery, butscared that i will not be abole to deal with the guilt, even thought i know it's not my fault) i nearly teared but i hel dit back of course.

when the dog was anaesthetised, i went on with the surgery and cut out a segment of it's jejenum(intestine) then tiched it back together. The instructors tested my titches and it went well.. my wound did not leak at all (i got a mars bar for that, but alot of ppl did!)

then as i went off to clean up the instrument ste ctec.. i came back to find the happy dog dead. I felt so sad.. it was kinda the first time that i experienced death of an animal by choice, by choice of a human (it's previous owner), by euthanasia, by barbituate.

i felt happy that at least this dog did not die for nothing. he helped me learn some skills that i will need int he future for saving other dogs, cats, etc etc. but i really wished that he wasn't put down int he first plac.e other groups had dogs that were sick, lame, etc etc, but ours was perfectly healthy.

sighhhhhhhhhhhh

ah

2007-02-13T11:34:00.001+11:00

i miss my gp. everyone here is more kaisu than the top student in singapore. seriously..

2007-02-11T00:16:00.000+11:00

i dunnoe what's wrong with my blogger beta. it's either not working (webpage cannot load) or just wierdly arranged..

anyway.. this afternoon i couldn't pen this down on my blog but did it on word..

"Seriously, the bad luck never ends. Now my fren backed out. She says she’ll be jailed if I crash the car. Yeah I unders
tand her fears. But I cannot believe my bad luck.

Ah fuck this really sucks, I have to take train again…. My friend and I have worked out that we’ll take a cab to sch then take the train back.

Sigh………….. The truth is, I don’t wanna take the train anymore. I don’t wanna sit with dodgy people. I don’t wanna walk around with my heavy things!

People keep telling me to call the company and make noise. The truth is, I don’t want to have to do anything with them anymore. I don’t wanna talk to them, I don’t wanna nag at them, I don’t wanna contact them, I don’t wanna get a rejection/disappointment from them. I just wanna take my car and be done with them!

I hate my life!"

But after i cooled down.. i managed to convince myself that it;s only 3 days.. just 3 days.. com'on you can do it! i just the reason why i was so angry and upset initially was becoz i was just not preapred to take the train again. there's nothing to describe the ride via train but 'depressing'.

i tried to look on the brighter side.. i am getting a new car.. i just got an ipod sponsored by dad, i have cat to play with and cuddle and pet and tease. i am starting 3rd year. (aka did not retain/fail) i have frens who can give me rides to the train station and back from sch. (how very nice of them)

nvm.. ni is coming back on thursday/friday and my momis coming next next tuesday. yeah!!!

right now i'm at the stage where my mood cannot sink any lower. it's at it's lowest alreadi. from now on, anything bad happens is like a "whatever" to me. I'm going to concentrate on my studies and study harder and smarter.

misery is what i am made of

2007-02-09T22:57:00.000+11:00

I am not kidding, i am a bad luck magnet. Anna Nicole smith could have died just becoz i pitied her.

my blogger didnt work for 2 days. it onli managed to start working and i dont know what the fucking problem is.

why? why am i soooooo unlucky? what? coz i dont realli believe in God? coz i am born on a 13th? coz of my name which doens't sound very nice and 'good' in cantonese?

i was whining everything in a cluttered mess in my other blog coz there are some things i realli would not want to say here. but heck i'm going to say it anyway.

Sigh right now.. it's friday night and i'm all alone, talking to my cat, watching dvds, walking around in my new pair of shoes from scooter (my onli consolation for today). eveyone is offline but me. why? coz everyone is out but me.

"why?" i asked myself. okie, i can try to be optimistic and say "you know, sometimes you could use some time alone, do things, sort things out, talk to your family, iron, wash clothes, vacuum, do mroe house chores, study when you can, listen to music, etc etc.." But usually(and especially at this low in my life/year), I just think, "you're a loser ning"

seriously, 22yo, alone on friday night, talking to your cat, watching dvds, flipping thru TV channels.. i think "why am i rotting my life away?" where are those fabulous parties/dates/bars/gatherings that a 22yo should be going to, should be invited to, should be asked out for, why am i not asked to go out to party/eat/hang??

I know it's okie for some people to stay home on a friday and saturday nights doing nothing, relaxing, watchign tv alone. but i cannot. It leaves me feeling that i have done nothing productive/fun, that i'm not living life to its fullest. Maybe i just have alot of energy. That's why i cannot sleep at night nowadays, if the energy is not used up, how can i sleep?

I'm sorry to all my friends who read my blog regularly. I know it's always sad. But please dont feel bad or anything. the last thing i want is for my frens to read my blog and be overly concerned. I'm fine. I just.. breakdown/meltdown very very often. I'm going thru a very unstable part of my life. If you really wanna help, just talk to me and hear me whine. it will help heeps.

okie, i have more sad stuff. today, i got the call from Honda, wednesday is the lastest i can get my car. but problem, my class ends at 5pm on wed and it's an Avian prac that i seriously do not want to skip. i only get that many chances of handleing birds and i'm not giving that up. so i asked for thursday instead. this means that i cna to rent a car shared with my fren, and drive to sch everyday form monday to thurs. That was the initial plan, then i found out very sadly that all the car rental people do not rent cars out to P drivers. which means i cannot rent the car. I was in dawn's place and nearly had another breakdown. "we're screwed!!!!!!!" i yelled. Then i thought of anyone who could borrow a car for us and let me drive it. thankfully Pris agreed, so did Am dear. Rani was 2nd on my list of people to ask actaully. but pris agreed. I cannot thank her enough, she practically saved my life.

I dont wanna sound like a brat, but the train ride to werribee is very depressing. It's long, 45mins. plus (the horrible part that is realli realy depressing) the fatc that i have to wlak for 20mins on grass from the train station to school. There is no pavement for pedestrians. sheesh with this sort of place, who expects anyone to not drive anwyay? Today i was feeling depressed adn upset after i got the news about my car that i absolutely had no mood for mroe lessons. Dawn didn;t mind going home too. so we both headed home at about 11.30am. sigh.. depressed depressed depressed is all what i think about when i think about this matter. That's why i refuse to take the train there. it's just damn depressing. i appreciate the fact that my frens who have cars offer me a ride to the train station but it's really depressing there. the dodgy people, the relatively slow train ride, the screaming kids. sigh

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh i am cursed, i am a bad luck magnet! I hate my life! My cousin told me to put my chin up, "getting a new car is something to be realli happy about.." yeah.. well, but I'm been struck down with just too many sad/bad/unlucky things. i have absolutely no mood for anything good anymore.

Another thing, i have no plans for tmr, which means nothing to look forward to. But it's cool.. i worked that out. i'll try going jogging at the park, i'll try reading and studying (i realli should if i want to keep up)

but the looming date i've never looked forward to in my entire life is coming, Valentine's day. yeah... I have to be honest. i hate that day. why? coz i associate that day with rejection, dissappiontment, loneliness, and desperation. "Rejection" coz more often than not, the person you like doesn not like you back and it's bloody obvious and revealed on that day. "dissappointment" becoz i found out that i dont have admirers, happy and sad at the same time. "loneliness" coz i chose it yet i hate it. "desperation" coz i dont wanna feel those things above but at the same time feel that if i confrom to the valentine's mood i am a desperadoe.

gettit gettit? yes my mind is COMPLEX. my values and ideas are jumbled up and contradict each other.

thank goodness my wed class ends at 5pm and by the time i get home, it's all dinner, work, sleep. no room for nothing. good.

i really hope things look up soon..

i did it

2007-02-06T22:01:00.000+11:00

i stuck my hand down a cow's vagina. hahahaha.. to feel it's urethral opening.. soon i will progress to that 'thing' (*does that sticking ur hand into the rectum of the cow action)

i felt so sorry for the cows who were jabed here and there for students to practise on. but the teachers limited us to 2 'things to do, like jabbing/poking/puting hand up in' stuff per cow. so it was okie lah..

i even bled my 1st cow! i couldn't do it the other time with the bloody sheep. well coz the lecturer was bloody lousy and nasty.. not to mention unhelpful!

I'm really looking forward to my car.. it realli has to come soon. i feel bad for troubling my frens to drive me, coz they are moving house now, from the city to point cook (near weribee) so we wont be able to get a ride home tmr and on thursday. but at least we get a ride to school..

bad luck go away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i spoke to my mum last night and i hate to admit it but i was on the verge of tears. i just felt so darn unlucky. did i mention that i have a very painful ulcer in my mouth that feels abnormal? i'm going to see a doctor tmr. anyway, she says that i am too kind. such that bad luck 'follows me around' i dunoe if this is true. after all, this is all superstition. but at this point of very very unlucky times of my starting semester, i want to believe in it. even if all it does is it makes me feel that bit better.

so i have to wear my gold stuff more often now.. i have to be more 'competent in life' now. i have to learn that life is not fair and it is a rat race. no one waits for anyone. i have to argue and push my way thru to my way of things. well i suppose this does not apply to all areas of my life, just some. the "adult living part".

anyway, at least one thing is looking a bit up., prac classes now are 10 times mroe interesting. at last we get to do something REAL. not stand around and watch. we DO. inject, probe, poke, insert, you name it. one consequnce, i am damn tired after pracs. especiallya fetr boring pracs.

car pls come soon. things are damn inconvenient now.. i am not looking forward to that train rdie home.

bad luck is attracted to me

2007-02-05T16:34:00.000+11:00

when bad luck comes to me, it comes in the tonnes.

first, i couldn;t sleep last night. ended up sleeping for 4 hours before i had to wake up for sch.

then my fren and i waited for 45 mins for our fren who agreed to drive us to school to show up. she never picked up our calls, never answered our smses. when she finally turned up, it was 45 mins past the time she said for us to meet.

3rdly, she told us that she might be retaining so she doesn't want to go to prac in the afternoon so we have to find our own accomodation home.

4thly, i know she has a reputation of not keeping her word. so i asked her honestly if she could fetch us. tell us if she cannot and be honest coz then i can have time to find alternative transport. at first she avoided giving me a striaght answer, then she said "no she can't.. she has to give ????? in parksville" i thought this was very irresponsible fo her. I am not cruel, i have not forgotten the favour sh edid to me by agreeing to fetch me and my frent os ch everyday for 1 week. but thing is, she must understand that we are dependent on ehr to get to shc. if she cannot bring us to sch then tell us honestly. dont just say yes just to "strenghten the frenship" it just makes things worst.

then, no5, i called the car saleman ross. and found out that he fucking went on a holiday. when i paid the deposit, he said next week (which was last week) when i called last week, he said this week. then when i called this week, it's oh.. oops, "i'm not here" FUCK man. that is so irresponsible. I hate him! the representitive i talked to was ncie but i couldn't helped yelling at him. at one point he even went "i'm sorry i'm just the messnger, dont blame me" "yeah, you scold ross back for me then" i said. it's just so frustrating. "the car is now on the way, we'll get it for you on friday late afternoon" he said. this was the point when i felt hat if i hadn't yelled at them, i would prb get the car next year. i put the phoen down and yelled "KNN" damn loudly thru the hallway of my vet sch. well no one was around. i was so ont he verge of tears. i was just sooooooooooo angry and frustrated. they have no idea how much i need this car. it's a NEED, not so much of a WANT!

but at least my other 2 frens who are moving to werribee are still living in the city. they cna pick us for this week only. but it's very nice of them.

what a day to start the 1st day of sch. to top it off, my timetabel is 9-5 on mon and thurs and 8-5 on tues, wed, fri. i'm jinxed.. always have been..

sch starts in a few hours time

2007-02-05T02:35:00.000+11:00

i realli should be sleeping now, but i couldn't get to sleep. maybe it's the very strong and nice green tea i drank at about 7pm. or maybe it's the fact that i'm just plain excited abotu 1st day of school (Sheep prac? yeah right..) or maybe the pain of the ulcer in mouth is killing me! or maybe i'm just excited about my car.

but anyway, i tossed and turned for 1.5 hours in bed and i couldn't sleep. science says that after 15mins of sleep and you still cannot sleep, go do something then tryt o sleep.. so i thought i'd bloged random stuff.

hmm.. last night i had a horrible dream. i dream that i was going to marry this married farmer guy from singaproe (puppy farm owner) ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.. i dunnoe why i keep dreaming of such horrible things. i had the exact same senario last year.. i dreamt that i was going to marry this other farmer in aus (The milk guy) ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.. please lah.. Brain, give me something nice can? like a prince? a rich guy? a handsome guy?

yesterday was realli fun. the park was amazingly big and spacious. it was soooooo nice to let the dogs off the lease and see them runa dn chase each toehr and play.. so fun! I think i also got to know pav a little mroe. tee hee...

yesterday i also realsied that in a few years time, we'll be bringing our babies to the park.. not just dogs..

gee time flies. it felt like yesterday when i just graduated form secondary school. today when i was shopping with dawn for t-shrits (btu ended up buying bras) i walked into the roxy stores feelign old. these were the kind of clothing i LOVEDD when i was a teen. but now i am an adult..

well at least my teen years were quite fulfilling.. now i must brace myself for proper adulthood. and school tmr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

apparently, 3rd year is not easier than the 2nd. and in fact it could be worse. ahhh why??? why do they love to torture us? coz we are the cream of the crop?? can't they just give us a break?

but no matter, i must study harder.. i think i've been studying smart enough. as in, i've always felt that i never studied hard, i just studied smart enough to know that is important and what the teachers want. now must work harder. no more slacking. i wanna become a good vet! not a lousy one!

so in order to work harder, i must not sleep in lecture! (snoreeeeeeeeeee) no! this means that i must sleep early!!

man.. should i even consider sleeping pills? ehh no lah, no good for my bodyt o become relient on it. okei okie.. better go sleep now. hopefully after wrting this out i can sleep now..

sleep!!!!

bored

2007-02-04T22:44:00.000+11:00

Since I;m bored too..

1. Do you know where your sister is right now?
Nope.. singapore?

2. Last time you hugged someone?
Neko darling!

3. What is something you've learned about yourself recently?
I'm a very people person.. I CANNOT be alone at home with NOthing to do. it makes me sad..

4. What color is your watch?
erm.. silver? orange? candy?

5.Do you like anyone?
My family, frens, the earth, pets etc etc..

6. Are you close to your mom?
which one?

7.Where do you work?
dont work.. but i study in sad sad weribee

8. What are you listening to right now?
nothing.. oh erm.. "do you think u can dance tv background music

9.what do you smell like?
cats? dung? antiseptic? depends on the time of the day and what prac i have..

10. What color are your pants/jeans?
no shorts on now.. oops..

11. Closest thing to your left?
handphone

12. What color is your bedroomflooring?
silver carpet

13. Do you have a chair in your room?
yeah, a blue NIKE chair from Ikea.

14. Time you were born?
8pm

15. Do you know anyone who is engaged?
nope..

16. What's your favorite number?
13

17. Do you know someone named Lori?
nope

18. What color is your mom's hair?
which one?

19. Do you have a dog?
i had one.. his name was noxx. he was a brown cocker spaniel.

20. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid?
"Kiss me honey honey kiss me, thrill me honey honeyl thrill me.." or "it was an itsy biny tiny winy yeloow poka dot bikini.."

21. When was the last time you went swimming?
cannot remember man..

22. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
1/2 hour ago? online? to my brother

23. Did you ever go to a camp as a child?
yes.. was very excicted at first. then realised had to queue for toilet to shower.. not so happy anymore

24. Do you play an instrument?
use to play the piano. erm, and recorder?

25. Do you like fire?
on candles? yes!

26. Are you allergic to anything?
dust n sun and aloe vera

27. When was the last time you cried?
a few days ago i think..

29. Have you ever been to a spa?
nope

30. Did you take science all four years of high school?
yes, until now..

31. Do you like butterflies?
yeah, they're beautiful..

32??

33. What is one thing you miss about your past?
no such thing as feeling "empty"

34. Have you ever seen the school counselor?
nope

35. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
yeah.. when i was like 3years old?

36. What is one thing you've learned about life?
it's not about myself. it's about my family and frens

37. Are you jealous of anyone?
aiyo.. so many...

38. Is anyone jealous of you?
eh.. apparently, some poeple like some parts of my body or face or skin..

39. Ever been stuck in an elevator?
nope

40. What does your mom call you?
which one? haha okie okie.. one says darling, the other one says girl

41. What does your siblings call you?
ka-jie or sista

42. What does you hair look like right now?
dry and messy

43. Has a friend ever used you?
yes, i'm too kind

44. Has anyone recently told you that they like you?
nope

45. What have you eaten today?
sushi and teriyaki chicken

46. Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
crazy

47. What is your favorite movie?
erm... disney cartoons?

48. Who was the last person you drove with?
erm, dawn and the terrified car salesman on the test drive (coz i told him on the drive that it's my first time on a different car..)

49. What are you looking forward to?
my car!!!

50. How are you today?
good. bit tired

51. Who do you tag?
huh?

FYI

2007-02-04T22:31:00.000+11:00

random newspaper cutting FYI

- to remove stains on collar and underarms cozed by perspiration, brush shampoo onto area with old toothbrush. OR squeeze some lemon juice onto the stain and let it sit for 1 hour. Rinse it with cols water before putting it into the washing machine with a little chlorine bleach.

-to remove red wine stains, rub salt onto stain and leave it in for 30mins before washing in cols water.

-to remove white wine stains, wash shirt in cold water or hot milk.

-to remove coffee stains, blot affected area with cold water immeditaely before washing shirt in cold water immeditaely. OR rub dishwashing liquid and rinse with cold water. If stain persists, aplly some white vinegar, then rinse with cold water.

even though

2007-02-03T02:02:00.000+11:00

thought about some stuff today... and.. i know how recently i've been so frustrated over so many things.. i realised that i forget some.

like.. even though the car is late, at least i have a car..

even though sch starts so early (next week), at least i am in sch, progressing...

even though i find myself alone at home sometimes, at least i have Neko, my computer, frens online, frens offering me their hosue keys to go to their house to watch movies (although i know they are secretly hoping that i will clean their place up at the same time.)

even though my family is not here, even though they sometimes are too busy to talk, at least i know they really really really dote on me..

sometimes i just gotta cheer up. I realised i've been too sad for too long and for no good reason either.

then again sometimes i just feel like i wanna go into a mode of self pity and cry all the depressing hormones out in tears. (literally)

i must achieve a balance..

i know now

2007-01-31T02:26:00.000+11:00

I've concluded.. Mommy.. remember that question you asked me along time ago?

well now i know why..

it's 20% looks, 80% attitude. and i dont have the latter. maybe a bit of the former..

Yup..

ipod at last

2007-01-31T00:30:00.000+11:00

I bought my ipod! thanks dad! i bought a pink one, 4g..

bit happier..

sigh

2007-01-30T14:07:00.001+11:00

i can't get my car till next week..

fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

that's it, i'm going shopping

loser

2007-01-30T01:33:00.000+11:00

my moods here are a rollar coster.. when i'm up, i'm so damn happy, then when i'm down, i'm so depressed..

right now i feel the later. feeling ignored, bored and alone...

this is like the worst holiday i ever had. aside from my dance frens, i feel like i dont have any other frens to count out. to hang out with, to do things. I feel like a big fat loser. I love my dance frens to bits, but when they are busy, i cannot seem to find any other frens to hang out with.

ning you LOSER...

bored

2007-01-28T00:27:00.001+11:00

freaking bored.. I did nothing, met no one, and rotted this entire day.

tried calling people out. didn't work. tried doing some housework to direct my agony of loniness away from my mind, worked a little bit. tried calling my mom to wish her happy b-day, she didn't pick up.

my other mom tells me to 'cope'. cope with anything that comes my way. well i coped for 20 days. And didn't manage to do so well today. What's worst, i wanted to go shopping to cheer myself up but i realised that i really didn't want to part with my money.

sometimes i really hate my life.

sigh....

college rock

2007-01-26T02:58:00.000+11:00

Damn.. suddenly i miss my old college rock music.

i use to love some college rock. especially the old college rock. it reminds me soooo much of the older days in seceondary sch and in jc.. Man am i getting old..

college rock is alternative rock btw. and i like the ones that have not been influenced my grundge and what not. i like pure college rock. like green day is NOT college rock. hm.. nickelback is college rock in my opinion.

i think i will make this collection fo music from differnt eras. shit right now my computer not good enough for that.. (i think)

save money ning!! save money!!

btw, another random newspaper cutting:

Crazy english language:
- there is no egg i eggplant nor ham in hamburger.
- english muffins were not invented in england nor french freis in france
- sweetmeats are candies while sweetbread (which isn't sweet) is meat.
- quicksand makes one sink slowly, boxing rings are square and guinea pig is neither from Guinea or a pig.
- If a vegetarian eats vegetables what does a humanitarium eat?
- why do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
- why do we ship by truck and send cargo by ship? have noeses that run and feet that smell?
- park on driveways and drive on parkways? (okie bit worried about this.. didn't understand.. is it something i need to know while driving?)
- how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the smae while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

sims 2 cravings again

2007-01-26T01:13:00.000+11:00

AHhhhhhhhhh i just watched van walder and if eel like playing sims again! it's the whole college thing!! fraternaties and sororities.. so fun!

sigh........... maybe i shouldn't get the computer after all.. i just dont feel like spending the money. and besides.. i realsied that without my sims game. i do alot more things. i accomplish mreo things..

there are just some things you gotta let go of..

shitty

2007-01-25T15:52:00.000+11:00

I'm feeling shit right ow i dunnoe why.. maybe it's this whole car thing. i just feel so insecure.

I mean, i dunnoe what's good, what's bad, and i have no idea what insurance etc etc.. Just now i tried to pay my deposit by credit card of 1000 and it wasn't approved. I just feel shit.

I feel like I'm just absolutely lost. It's in times like this when i just wish my family was here to just take care of everything. I dont wanna bother paying bills, i dont wanna fork out my own money for stuff. i dont want to bother searchign online and or go about asking frens for advise for insurance, car types, car models, more insurance, roads, etc. I mean, i appreciate deeply what my frens have done for me. but sometimes i just wish that I dont have to take care of any of this CRAP.

Oh i got my car already.. 24200 with a spolier. not so keen on the spoiler but mum wants me to get it. "it keeps the car on the road". and i didn't manage to get my yellow one. i got the purplish blue one. I'm hopinhg to save up some money,ake sure the car has lots of srcatches then repaint it pink or green or organge! hhahahhaha..

sigh.... feeling shitty. I wish my family was here.

money issues

2007-01-25T13:53:00.000+11:00

sigh.. i bought the car already.. but i dont feel happy..

my heart just aches for all the money i have to pay. my new year resolution is to save money and yet again i have to pay mroe for insurance etc etc.. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh how frustrating...

i hate asking money from my dad but i dont want my money in my bank to dwindle to less than 1k again.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

shoe care

2007-01-24T01:04:00.000+11:00

shoe care tips: adapted from some random newspaper cutting my mom handed to me...

- regular polishing does wonders fro your leather shoes. all you need is a tube of shoe polish, a soft cloth and some arm muscle to massage in a circular motion.

- give them a break. alternate btw 3 pairs of shoes at least.

- new shoes giving you blisters? rub in some good old olive oil. massage and soften it gently. works alot better than bitting your shoe.

- If your shoes got wet in the rain, dont put them out int he sun to dry, it'll crack the leather. instead, stuff some newspaper into your shoe to soak up moisture and leave them in a space away form heat.

- vomit-smelling shoes? try garlic! chuck a few cloves into them overnight and be amazed.

- suede shoes look best brushed. a toothbrush with hard bristles is enough.

- black patent leather shoes can be easily wiped clean with a damp paper towel.

i have a tagboard!

2007-01-23T17:30:00.000+11:00

I have a tagbaord!

random stuff

2007-01-23T16:54:00.000+11:00

I just bought 2 tops from kookai for only 35 dollars total. whao so cheap...

I went to the desk to complain about that fu..... nvm, the bmw again. and this concerige is sooooooo much nicer. he offered to call the bastard to tell him to remove his car.

Anyway, i packed and rearranged my entire room yesterday. felt gooddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.. now i have an L-shaped table and an extra bookshelf that doesn't lean like the tower of pisa. one side of the table is my dressing table, and the other my study table. woohoo!!!!

everything juts looks so nice and neat now. i'm so satisfied. I've even managed to display all my nice and cute things that i previously didnt ahev the chnace too. like my flare cert, my birthday portriat from flarians, my pictures etc etc..

happy happy.. can't wait for movie and dinenr later with flairnas again.

Panick attacks

2007-01-23T14:32:00.000+11:00

i dunnoe what's wrong with me.. I've not been sleeping well and i've been having panick attacks recently, every single time i think of my car.

Anything to do with my car i panic... whether i'll be able to drive smoothly, whether that stupid bmw qill still be in my parking lot, whether i can get the colour i want..

even the thought of me buying the car sends my heart racing. It's irrational fear i know. i try to calm myself down but i'm still soo..... panicky..

cool down cool down, chill chill.. everything will work out fine...

test drive on chapel!

2007-01-22T21:09:00.000+11:00

okie okie... i'm calm now.... phew.. i really just needed somewhere to bleh everything out. I dont think i was atcually THAT angry about the man parking at my carpark space. It just so happen that he filled the last drop of my anger beaker, to the explosion mark.

lucky for me, i have many frens in this apartment where i can park my car first. Obviously that bmw doesn't.. hahahahaha...

I directed my anger at cleaning my house just now. i vacuumed like i never vacuumed before. i felt good. plus th efact that my hosu elooked super clean and neat.. what a bonus!

I went to test drive the honda jazz today with my fren. it was really smooth.. and the saleman kinda freaked when he realised that i just passed my driving test. hahaha.. I should be going to get the car wither on thursday or saturday. yellow. heee.. bright and sunny and happy!

After i test drived the car, my fren and i went to walk along chapel to window shop. it was nice t shop at a different place for once. Ahahahaha.. something funny happened too.

My fren and i were talking about car models, when i suddenly spooted one that i was talking about across the road.. a sexy vivid blue mazda 3 sedan. then suddenly i felt 2 pairs of eyes staring at us. There, sitting in a flashy silver convertable sportscar (dunnoe what brand) were 2 young dudes playing really loud music. Then i realised that they thought that My frena dn I were looking at their car and checking them out. So i immediately lifted my head abit higher and pointed to the mazda on across the road. immediatley, both of the 2 guys heads turned to see the mazda that i pointed at. and embarrassingly drove away.

ahahhaha how funny is that? My fren and i turned to each other to laugh! These dudes thought that 2 chickes were checking them out in their flashy cars but Noooo.. we were looking at something else.. hahahhaha.. flt good to trash their fantasy of being checked out by chicks on the road!

it's so cliche too.. sounds likewhat something would happen in a comedy..

fucking bmw!

2007-01-22T18:53:00.000+11:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm sooooo fucking angry!

this mother fucker has been parking at MY parking lot forever! What does he take this lot for? Free fucking parking?

Fuck you BMZ1 Fuck you! i hope the fleas of a thousand dingoes swarm to your butt and make it their home!

It's just sooooooooooooo frustrating that whenever i wanna park at my lot, some idiot is there! fuck you man!! i hope you crash and have to pay billions of dollars to repair your car.

And the best part, i'll be needing it this week. so fuck off! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm going to see the management tmr and i bloody well hope they can fuckign srcew your car up and down!

Bastard!

car!!

2007-01-22T00:47:00.001+11:00

I cannot wait to get my car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

empty again

2007-01-20T22:20:00.000+11:00

After an entire day of work.. i feel empty once more. sigh.. why?????????

my choice is made btw, honda jazz. I know alot of you will go "another one???!!" But face it, it IS the best car for ME.

must find things to do.. but right now i;m drop dead tired..

it's alright

2007-01-19T00:05:00.000+11:00

big smile.........................

I know everything as to why my parents acted the day they did last night..

My dad was just busy lah. and he didn't feel comfortable talking to me about car stuff in front of his clients and some people.

=)

everything is alright.

family blues again

2007-01-18T01:39:00.000+11:00

............. this is the lowest i've felt this week. And it's because of my family again.

It's just so hard to talk to my dad. He's not even making the effort to try to talk to me about normal stuff. I email, i call, i sms. But all i get is one liners or one worders like "ok" or "will send money tmr." In calls, he tries to cut it to as short as possible. "okie? okie.. byebye.. love you darling.."

sigh, i know you are busy daddy. but can't you just soare 5 mins more or even 3 mins more to tlak to me about your day? about my day? The only time you called was when i apssed my driving test. I've never heard you speak to me this happy for so long. not since i scored all 'A's in my exams..

I know you expect a hell alot from me dad. A 97% on my math test in primary6 wasn't even good enough for you. i still remember the words till today "how come no 100%?"

I know you want to try to push me further. further that i can attain, maybe further than you can attain. But just for once, please come back down to earth and speak to me like a happy father?

Sigh.. and my mum.. she just loves to give me the insecurity about our finances. Come on lah. I am not blind. The stuff you buy now? Please lah.. Be honest with me can, stop making me feel insecure.

Lucky for me, i have frens here to help.

cars

2007-01-17T17:17:00.000+11:00

OKie.. i just saw a Mazda2 hatchback on the road.. Not so nice...

toyota yarris is damn cute. so is the jazz. But i think mazda 3 sedan is damn sexy..

sigh.. my dad has work to do in hongkong and cannot give me answer by saturday.... i wish he'd be quicker..

what car?????

2007-01-17T01:57:00.001+11:00

Oh the PAIN of deciding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Pursuit of Happiness 2

2007-01-16T23:39:00.000+11:00

I just watched the movie "the pursuit of happyness" Oh my goodness it is so heart wrenching...

Jel said she didnt feel motivated, kel said he felt sad, am felt that her heart fell out a few times, and rani said he felt fine (what..)

Well, throughout the film, i just felt so much pity for them. I keep thinking, why didn't the government do something for these so many homeless people???

Then when i reached home.. I looked at the things around me, all the things that i bought, and i thought... how damn lucky i am to have this. I know my father works his ass off to get me this luxury in life. I also looked at Neko and thought.. How my father would feel if he knew that was supporting another being? I mean, i think he knoew, but now think... how does he feel now that he knows.

Damn i feel so lucky. the aircon, the bed, the many bags, the many clothes, the laptop, the car to be.

alright new year resolution.. SAVE MONEY!!!

and stick to it!

I got my Ps!

2007-01-15T15:39:00.000+11:00

hurray!!!!!!!!!

I PASSED!!!

so estatic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i had a score of 55/58.. that's 95%!

woohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

like another exam

2007-01-15T11:47:00.000+11:00

oh nooooooooooooooo.. my heart cannot stop racing. and everytime i thnk about it, it skips a beat.

i'm really scared!

no, i must relax, treat it like any other driving lesson. excpet this time, i make my own decisions and be more careful and alert.

chill man chill...

face my fears

2007-01-15T01:16:00.000+11:00

tmr.. no i mean today, is my driving test.

wish me luck man...................

this is like the main reason as to why i am back here so early..

wish me luck.

must pass...

2007-01-14T02:41:00.000+11:00

I'm so proud of myself! I atcually found a route to the place i wanted to go, then i went online to search for public transport and i found it!!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Sigh.. now, i really realise how important a car is. I wouldn't have bought anything if suz wasn't with me to drive. There is just no way i am able to carry all those things.

I didn't manage to get my bed frame though.. Ikea doesn't stock king-single bed frames.. dman.. but i decided to get a single bedframe, then just let my mattress sit out a bit. howveer, all Ikea bed frames are 'sunken in' for the matress. which is no point fo rme..

but i found a chepa good one in fantastic furnitures. SHould be going there soon. maybe i'll wait for my frent o come back. i dont wanan go alone. coz she needs furniture too.

sigh.. driving today didn't got oo well.. made mistakes i know i really should be making at this point. SHIT MAN. WONG CHUANNING PLEASE PASS! You really need it!

think of all those times you had to ask ur frens to drive you, so thick skin. think of all the times you walk home late at night, so lonely and dangerous, think of all those time you wanted to buy stuff but couldn't carry...

you must pass please. u need this..

stupid telemarketers

2007-01-13T12:38:00.000+11:00

Wah lau, telmarketers now a days damn fucking rude man. and the best part, all of the rude ones i've encountered are indian. (not being racist here mind you..) COme on lah, you guys can do bettter than that lor!

i was so mad i wrote a complain email to the victoria electircity..

"Dear Sir/Mdm,

I would like to complain about a certain telemarketer of yours. He was rude, extremely pushy and actually flared out at me at the end of the phone call.

I do not know his name but he did speak with a strong Indian accent.

First he asked if i would like to change my electricity plans to a cheaper rate and told me all the benefits. I needed more information of course, so i asked more questions. He gave me very vague answers, so i had to ask again. He then grew increasingly impatient and at one point interrupted my question halfway to say that 'it's alright, everyone's renting anyway.'

Then when i finally learnt that i had to change my electricity supplier/provider in order to had cheaper rates, i told him that i cannot make this decision because ultimately, i wasn't the person in charge of the elctricity bills, phones bills, rent and waht not for this house that I am renting. I apologised and told him to call back 1 month later when my housemate comes back, for she is in charge of these things.

He become angry and doubtful. 'No, you said just now that you were in charged of the electricity bills!" he said. Then i told him that I've mistaken your question. I mean, I can pay the bills, but bills come under my housemate's name.

He didn't believed me and asked me that same question 3 more times. He also kept trying to convince me that 'It's all the same anyway, whether the bill comes under your name or your housemate's name'. He even started asking me what my name was, what my cousin's name was, and what gender she was. The questions got ridiculously out of point, as though he was questioning me like a convict. I'm a potential customer, not someone in his custody to question like a crimminal.

In all, he was extremely pushy and rude. I would have considered discussing this change of electricity provider over to Victoria with my cousin, but with this rude telemarketor, I really think not.

Should you want to attract more customers to switch over from one electricity provider to your provider, please do something about these rude telemarketers.

Thank you.

yours sincerely,Ni"

WHat i didn't add in the email is that he asked me all those stupid questions liek whats ur name, what's ur cousins name, in that matter that you know he's just checking. WTF right???? EVen if you knew i lied, then you know bloody well know that i am not fucking interesting alright bitch?! are u like stupid or what????

i even had to stop him by saying "stop asking me all these questions like you're quetioning a convict"

"why should i stop asking you questions" he sneered. "it's so easy, you'll receive the papers in 2 weeks then u just have to sent it back, you can even reject after i've sent u the papers"

WTF???? i thought.. you never told me about these paperwork i have to do. and i hate paperwork u asshole!

"just now u said that you were in charge of electircity" he said again.

"sir, you've asked me that that question 3 times already. and i told you, i'm sorry, i mistook your question. i am not in charge here." i said as calmly as i could.

WTF RIGHT?

"No but you said... " he insisted that i am in charge of electircity. then he went on yelling to me about i lied and etc etc... well i did lie. btu i dont want to chnage! and i wanana ask my cousin ni, and i dont wanan do paperwork u moron!

"sir now you're just getting angry" i said

"no matter noe.. thank you b.." i slammed down the ohone even before he finish. i wouldn't normally do that, unless i'm really annoyed with these fucking moronic people.

hahaha BTW, i put "Ni" just incase they wanna check who i am.. Ni can be either junni or ning what..

teehee......................................

good answer..

2007-01-12T18:04:00.000+11:00

I was searching thru yahoo answers when i came across this silly girl with this question..

"Is Race Mixing GENOCIDE?
Race mixing is genocide and even our enemies know it. My caucasian brothers and sisters should have more childen and NOT have children by other races.It is funny you are against Eagles going extinct but you are for... "

i just plainly replied.. "of course not" but some very angry and passionate guy replied...

"There is only 1...

That is the HUMAN race. we are all the same species of being. our skin tone is an ecological change and nothing more. it is no more a diffference then 2 cats with different furs are differnt species.

a cat is a cat irregardless of its breeding. a manx and a siamese are both the same they just have mninor differneces in size and fur color. both animals are essentialy cats.

same with human beings. we are all the same speicies. the conspet of race is an outdated and put moded conept kept alive by peatheitc scared litle men who hide under the delusion that because a man has a differnt skin tone they are a threat.

I got news for you hun. if being different scares you then you need to make sure that you kill your white brothers and siters, because each one of them is as different form you as that siamese is to the manx.

every single human being has minor differneces in appearance to be able to distinguish one form the other. animals use smell. we use visual ques.

please I beg of you do not be a sheep that gets lead around by your nose. by patheitc little racist hypocrites. we are all one speices one race the human race. its time to join it.

oh and as a PS. if we do not mix the races in any way. as your white supremacist would suggest. then the " white race" well die out. its called genetic stagnation. its caused by inbreeding. its a self destructive habit that can cause an race to become extinct. inbreeding causes a higher rate of birth defects, and other deliterious effects. with out racial diversity in our breeding practices we well slowly become extinct by virtue of genetic stagnation.

inbreeding is the true cause of genocide,along with human stupidity. "

interesting point of view eh...

finding things to do

2007-01-12T16:14:00.000+11:00

For the one millionth time... i am bored...

sigh.. i seriously need my sims game soon man... but i dunnoe how much money am i willing to spend just to kill the boredom out of my life. i dont even know if the game will let kill this boredom forever.

shit ah, i must find soemthing to do. will.. there's the ironing.. there's the spanish.. there's te choreographing...

see see.. you're just LAZY...

slept at a record of 9pm last ngiht. yeah, was that tired.. but had a good sleep. thanks to the air con.

sims

2007-01-11T21:38:00.000+11:00

empty.. sigh.. i feel so tired but i dont feel like sleeping. it's the emptyness, the feeling that i have not done enough today..

i wish i had my sims game here..

BORED

2007-01-11T00:25:00.000+11:00

I know i should be sleeping now but i just dont feel satisfied enough to sleep.. I feel like my day cannot end like this, like me doing almost nothing today...

Well i did do something, I met up with Am at last! and rani, am and ern-may/mei went for dinner then went to starbucks to get ice cold coffee coz it's freaking hot, then we went to vic mark to see the night market.. whao.. happening man... quite cool.

There was this dance floor where the DJ was playing some music, kinda retro i think.. then there were these kids just going there to show off their stuff.. so cute! No, unlike the ones in downtowneast in singapore, they didn't lock and pop but they were so cute. rolling around and such.

Then i walked home and tried to do some hazard perception practise tests.. man rani was right. it's a bitch.. i cannot rmemeber if my practise questions were the low quality ones that i downloaded, but i hope the actual test will not be that blur. coz i couldn't see alot of things.. like signs and traffic lights.. i had 1/3 on my first try! Oh ning, please please please please pass!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel so damn bored.. i keep thinking.. what am i going to do tmr??? everyone is working.. well most... maybe i'll go to am's place and bug her. or call ginnie to shop. or call suzz to do??? eat???

but i knoe i have to sleep now.. haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz at least i have air con at my place..

tests

2007-01-10T23:37:00.000+11:00

tmr's my hazard perception test.. ekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk so scared...

must pass must pass must pass.....................

Neko darling is back

2007-01-10T14:46:00.000+11:00

Woke up at 2pm this morning.. SHIOK...

but i had to keep rubbing and scatching my nose throughout the night. I have hear dof the bush fires that has cozed spi (is it spi? standart p?? index? the one that measure the cloudiness of the air) levels to soar. so much so that it is dusty and smokey etc. although it has somewhat cleared, the skyline view from ym apartment is still smokey.

Perhaps i need an air purifier. hmm.. but is it worth it? or should i just use my air con?

ahhhhhhhhhhh i hate it when my nose gets stuffy.

anywayz, i got neko darling back yesterday. she still rmemebers me! the moment we entered the house of her caretakers, she ran under the sofa. but i put my hand there for her to sniff and she came out!!! then i carried her to her cage, but she clinged on to my jacket with her claws as though she didnt' want me to le her go.. so sweett..

Ginnie and got home from thr tiring journey, phew, carrying so many things... wish i had myc ar alreaady...

the moment i opened the cage, she was walking around sniffing stuff as though she remembers her home. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.........

SHe's a little skinny now... at least skinnier than i cna rmemeber. btu she's still the same size.

SH'es a tiny cat.. kinda like an asian cat. we let her eat all she wants but she doesn't eat much. thus her small frame.

I'm going to soooooooooooooo fatten her up.. my poor baby...

The Pursuit of Happiness

2007-01-10T01:05:00.000+11:00

The moment i arrived in Melbourne. I looked at the people waving frantically to their family members who just arrived in melbourne and i sighed... No one was there to pick me up or receive me warmly at the airport. Not that there was no one to do so. I was the one who didn't plan for anything. in other words, i blame myself lah..

Then in the cab, i tried to call some friends i knew who were in melbourne. but they weren't free. I felt so sad... i nearly teared in the cab.

Went home, tried to call more people... but to no avail. Felt even more sad... and of course sspent a good 30 mins crying and staring at the window. Neko's absense made things worst.

I started to wonder why when i was back in sinagpore, i couldn't wait to get back here. but the moment i arrive, the feelings of just being back here is just.. unbearable...

I know what it is.. it's the whole things about me having to get use to being independent, being alone and being by myself all grown up-ish. It's the whole, i have to adapt again. and i hate adapting all over again...

lucky i managed to go online (you know how computer/internet problems just LOVE to come to me on the worst moments) and ginnie msged me. i had no idea she was still in melbourne... anyway, we arranged dinner. it was so nice to speak to someone at last.

I had a godo time with her in melbourne central eating mushroom rissotto. But i canot help btu notice how extraordinarily quiet it was in melbourne. I mean, even on Monday nights, restaurants would usually be packed with people. at least not extrememly packed. but this time round, there was hardly anyone around. there were only 4 groups of patroners. ginnie and i were the 5th. the other restaurants hardly had a customer. and they closed early at about 8. Even in the day time when i did a little grocery shopping, it was so quiet..

It seems that the city is packed with students from overseas. it is the holidays. so everyone is not back yet.

but it's really incredibly quiet.......

anyway.. i came home later that night. and... sigh.. tears started to fall form my face again. I looked at myself in the mirror and i thought, why the fuck am i always so unhappy?

So i told myself, STOP. stop being unhappy. stop digging into the past and remembering horrible sad moments in my life. stop looking at the sad side of life. stop shopping t make urself happy. stop thinking that u're cursed/jinxed/whatever.

I wanna HAPPY and CAREFREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But right now, i'm really bored.. school starts on 5th and before my driving tests, i have nothing to do leh..

soooooooooooooo.. I must find things to do

- make room nicer.
- buy new furniture like bed frame and study table and bookshelf.

- buy food. more food!
- exercise for goodness sake!

- save money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- buy computer
- buy ipod! (gave mine to my brother... man, be THANKFUL!)
- pass driving test and buy car!!!!!!!!!!

- learn spanish
- get a sense of direction. (possible???)

shit.. buy so many things.. how to save money?????

back

2007-01-09T00:44:00.000+11:00

I hate this! i hate this empty feeling. it happens everytime i get back from one country to another. but even mroe so when i get back from singapore to melbourne.

emptyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

met up with ginnie today. was realli nice to see a fren here at last.

What cha gonna do with with all that junk

2007-01-02T23:17:00.000+11:00

All that junk inside your... bar, backyard, kitchen, uncle's room, cupboard behind theTV, and many many bottle of alcohol?

It's a miracle. all it took was a little nagging from me to get my mom to clear some stuffwith me. the houseislike 10 tems neater...

aiyah..ta;lmorelater. i hate this keyboard..

update

2006-12-31T00:12:00.000+11:00

Lots have happened since that stupid christmas...

for a start,letme just convince everyone that i'm okie.. i justrealli like to nag and complain on my blog..

chritsmas day

anywayz, when my mom came back on christmas day and my dad convinced me to g to the airport with himand my brother topickthem (as in my mom, and 2 sisters) okielor...i thought.. the moment i saw my mum, though angry that she 'cheated' me. i was quick to forgive.. haiz, it's just my kind hearted soul...

i decided to forgiveher even more when she took out a nice purple top for me.. hohoho

My hair straightener died on me (on christmas morning i think.)

How sad... one day it was useful the next, dead.. (bloody 200dollar striaghtener..) i need to get a new one...

Boxing day

PLayedmajiong the entire day with my mum, steph and grandma. neven seen my grandma laugh so much until she needed to pee in along time. whathappened? well steph forgot that she had 'pong'ed 8wan. then she threw the 4th one she had out. we all kept quiet. thern my grnadma burst out laughing..

27th

went shopping alone. bought all the things i needed. well not ALL. but most. really broke.. i think my bank balance isless than 1000 now. but i really dont wann ask money from my dad. and mum stop telling me to do so.i will do it in my own time thanks.

28th

went to see my jc frenzfor dinner.. coolies! sigh.. going to miss them.

29th

went for lunch with steph and mum j. BIG lunch. big tummy too. then went for facial a\to getrid ofall the evil black heads on my face. then went to meet bboy Vinhny with ness ian and fiona and ni.woot! haven seen them in ages! it was nice. but my yummy got bigger.

30th (today)

went for lunch with mum. then went shopping at some warehouse sale. bought a dress for only 6 dollars! incredible! then had dinner at home and at the right time too., "so nice, you me and my parents and the rest of the family having dinner together.. how nice hor kajei" hinted my dad tome. in other words. had i gone out to eat dinner again.. hmm.. not nice.

feelings now

sigh.. going backto melb so soon..WTF.. just as i'm getting use to this place... i have to go back and get use to there all over again.

i also have to face the reality and my fear of taking my car driving test.. (legs shaking..)

but,, i get to see..NEKO DARLING! miss you! and i als get to see my flarianz!!!!! missya all lots. and my other frenz!! (hmmm who's there?)

but still... i'm really afraid of the test. but like.. come on! i can't run away from it! at least not forever...

oh oh oh!!! i drovemy mum's car once fromher house backto mine. illegally of course.. so exiciting!!!!! and no one got killed.. but my brother did suffer from his own imagination.

again! again again again!!!!

2006-12-24T16:49:00.000+11:00

AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fumming! they disappointed me AGAIN!

i asked my brother to call mymum to ask her what time she was coming back tmr for the christmas dinner i was going to prepare. "10pm"

what???? how the fuck are we suppose to have dinner at that time?

i called her back. "how are wegoing to have dinner if u come back at 10 plus?!" i asked.

"oh.. didn't daddy tell you. aiyo this daddy ah do things..." " i having very big migrane here.."

first of all, i doint give a shit as t whether you're in pain anot. i care about why you broke your promise to spend chritsmas with the fmaily. all of you have always been away during chirtsmas. then what the fuck am i back home here for?to ROT AT HOME???

i put so much effort trying to make this a better family. but it is dysfunctional as always.

before i learnt that i cannot make dinner anymore,i was going thru some stuff in te fridge too see what i can cook.OMG expired sauces date back to 2004 b(The year i left for aus) thatis just PROOF THAT THE ONLY PERSON WHO THROWS EXPIRED STUFF AWAY IS ME.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i hate this dysfunctional family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MESS!!

2006-12-23T22:59:00.000+11:00

fumming fumming fumming...

for the last time. stop fucking bitching about everyone. stop and take a look atyourself. Pot calling the kettle black!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

what happened justnow was that i tried to search for the christmas tree and we couldn't freaking find it. the miad doesn't know. she's new. and yes, we have alot of JUNK in our house! i told my brother to call my mum to ask her where it is. she doean't know either. why? coz the ex-maid packed it. oh wait. maybe ex-ex-maid.

"your mother ah, so many things. all dont wanna throw. thattime in hong kong... she....." my grandmother grumbled to me. honestly, i HATE TO HEAR THIS BITCHING STUFF. yes, i fucking grew up with everyone bitching to me about the people i love. my mom bitching about the other mom, my grandma/pa bitching about my mum, mu aunties bitching about my mum and new sister.

FUCK CAN ALL OF YOU STOP??????????????????? now that i have grown older, i have the courage to stand up for myself. but thinking back, i regret so so so much that i just kept quiet.

somehow i think this is the anger that has accummulated for years that has lead to my explosive nature when i'm realli angry.

i know what willmymumsay if i called her back to tell her that i cannot find the darn chritmas tree."aiyo.. that stupid ex-maid!!! she so messy, blah blah blah"

this is what i wanna say to my mumJ
first of all, it's is not the miad's responsibility to note where all YOUR things are.
2ndly,stop pushing every blame to the maid. that things in the house are all over the place, that we have so mnay things. coz halfof them are freaking yours. and stop blaming mama too for having too many things. youhave alot of theings to. Both you and mama have alot of things. both you too dont want to throw away alot of things. both of you dont realli care anyway. and for Goodness sake, please throw away things you dont need and use. like thevacuum cleaner under yanzhong's bed or the cupboard full of old clothes you neither wearnor use in uncle kum san's room. in fact all your things are everywhere! there aremountains ofthings missplacedcoz
you dont clear the old stuff!

tomama.
STOPBLAMING my mum for the messy house. youhavealot of CRAP thatyou dont wanan throw away either. and for the lasttime, stop sheltering yanzhong! mostof all, stopbitching to me abut everything and anything. frommyex0mum to my new0mum to my money affairs to yanzhong/. justfreaking stop! NO, do not even think that for a second i will "be atyour side f this political fmaily game" by bitching to me abut my mumj and her bad habits. do not even think of digging up old stories to tell me thati dont wanna hear. that willnot work either. coz frankly, i am not on anyboday's side.i have always been fair.

to yanszhong.
PLS DO NOT INHERIT HORRIBLE JUNK-KEEPING GENES AND THROW AWAY THOSE OLD TOYS YOU HAVE NOT TOUCHED FOR AT LEAST 5YEARS. it is taking up space and making our house look UGLIER AND UGLIER.

in fact the house is so ugly now i dont feel like coming back here at all.

i've always felt that the mother of the house. my grandma is old and senile. stephanie and busy and partly doesn't care. the maid doean'tt know anything. my grandpa has a misstress to worry about. my parents have theri KL house to care ofr and seldo, come home. my uncle is only home for 2times a year.

but nowthat i've gone overseas, the house has been left in ruins literally. no one is there to clear expired stuff fromthe fridge, no one is there to convince mama or mumJ or yanzhong to throw useless things away. Like when i came back home this december, the chinese new year "fu dao" sign was still hanging in our arch way. WTF..... and i'mpretty sure the reason they kept it there wasn't becoz it was pretty.

i hate this so much! coz i cannot do anything about it.well not much at least. and it's justsooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking frustrating!!!!!!!!

But i MUST do something,and i WILL. I HATE TO SEE THIS BEAUTIFUL HOUSE IN A MESS!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHEN WILL THEY LEARN...

my house

2006-12-17T23:22:00.000+11:00

my lights went all out suddenly.. then i herd the monsterous thunder sound..

black out..

howtypiczl of my run down singapore house.

sometimes i really dont understand my parents and grandparents. they can buy my brother the lastest mostexpensive gadets and toys. buy themselves expensive cars and eat fancy expensive dinner. pay monthly membership for some country club theyhardly use. give me somuch moey tospend. but refuse to revampthe house.

just look atit. the pipes, wiring and evrything is out of date. with the slightest lightning, the house blacks out. crap furniture is everywhere. ,y grandma refuses to throw them awayeven though theyare spoilt (that's why they got replaced in the first place)

now that i have become a home maker(coz ilive along in aus mah) i look atthis house with much pity. it has somuch potentialto be beautiful. the graden is huge! but it's left so messy and unruly, it's nolonger a garden. it's a jungle.

the living room is sohuge but thereare 3 extra tables here and there just becoz my grnadma refuses to throw them away.

the bar... is no longer a bar. it's a storeroom. the smallroom hasan extra bed but the maid is not allowed tslee on it. she sleepson the floor on amatress. who slps in it? mygrandma when she's taking a nap. (she can't claimb upand dwn the stairs)

the hugemongous kitchen is full of junk. and we have 4 fridges in the kitchen. yes 4! not justnrmla ones. HUGE fridges! and whatever for? everything is jststocked stocked stocked andnot used. half the items in the fridge are spolit or expired and no one bothers to throw but me.

and my balconyis demolished to make room formore rooms. sigh..

justGIVE ME THIS HOUSE> AND I WILLMAKE IT BEAUTIFUL.

ahh

2006-12-17T23:03:00.000+11:00

so grumpy ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

now my brother's hpoggint my sim computer! fine! i'll do OTHER STUFF!

cannot even go out late.. ahhhhhhhhhhhh

where has my 21 yearold freedom that i am suppose to have?

hk

2006-12-14T02:32:00.000+11:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

i SO wanna scream but i keepit inside(as always)

whenever i'm with my family,it doesn't matter how patient you are (like am) , you will get annoyed eventually.

I remember being so eager to see myfamily. i realy feel like i miss them when i'm away from them but when i am with them, 60% of the time is tension.

mygranmother is by far the mostannoying. it's just soooooo soo soooo bloodyfrustrating when she contanstly nags at people and grumbles about random things.i know, i know she's getting old. but there are just times when it builds up and i canot take it anymore. i usually justwalk away. i dont even bother to answer or talk back. it' s rude and mostof all, i dunnoe what to say. whatdoes she nag about? EVERYTHING!

from my past (which is really the lastthing on eaarth i want her to tell me about... mymum, my dad, the money the divprce my brother... blah blah blah, like.. it's fucking over. get over it. the one suff3ering the most is me and i'mn over it so shouldyou!)to

oop[s, to be continued

2006-12-05T01:53:00.000+11:00

OKiei over reacted.. but seriously... everything here is spolit... the computer, the cuboard. the upkeep is justso bad coz of so many things..

shites lah..

and the bestpartis thati'msick..

againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

KNN!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-04T19:07:00.000+11:00

Back sucks..it reali does.ALWAYS

the room the house everything is messy. this aint my home anymore

and i'm sick. again! bloody hotweathetr! i hatethis place!

Neko darling

2006-11-28T01:38:00.000+11:00

Ohhhhh i'm going to miss my darling so much..

look! she misses me too. she wants to go home with me in my luggage!

dunnoe why

2006-11-27T01:27:00.003+11:00

I'm crying now.. I'm not sure why.. perhaps it's the sudden realization that everything is going to be fine.... =)

Big boy

2006-11-27T01:02:00.000+11:00

He's my brother... comes straight from my mother... he's stronger than he thinks he is. let him know, let him know....

Sigh, i just spoke to my brother and i am so proud of him. he got a good 23+ score for PSLE. when i was in primary6, i only had 209. There was a certain difference to his voice. not only was it deeper, it was much more mature. i actually felt his disappointment (for his results. he expected higher) i felt the teenager in him. the grunting noises he made when he was answering my questions took my breath away.

he was no longer that small boy that tagged along every single game i played. from barbie dolls to catching. I no longer needed to hold his hand and watch out for steps and stuff and bad people for him when we went out. He no longer needs someone to pack his school bag for him (like i always do.) i will still prob need to nag at him (i've nagged at him since he was in primary 1) but he is that teenager now. he no longer needs me to take care of him as much as before. in fact, he'd prob be doing it back to me.

I feel... proud... Proud that this boy and i have pulled through so much family CRAP yet come to where we are. normal and happy and succeeding (so far..)

I remember crying to him as a child, telling him about the 'truth' about our family background (coz everything happened whe he was a baby) telling him who is his real mom, who takes care of him, who he should respect (all) etc etc..

thinking back, i dunoe if i have done the right thing to tell him that. i remember his face looked realli traumatised. but at that moment i just knew it was time. he was getting older and i didn't want him to be confused.

anywayz.. i have alot of shopping to do. i wanna buy cool clothes and bags for my brother. He's going to be in secondary school now. and i want the best for him.

shit i feel like a mother. well. i've always been the mother the house... looking after my 2 younger sisters steph and pearlyn, yan zhong my brother, my grandma, the maid... especeically when my parents are working overseas. i was the MAN of the house. but now my sister has that job. and i'm she's doing well too.

he may be a big boy now, but he's always my little brother.

OoooooooooOOOOOOOooooooooooooOOOO0oo

2006-11-26T03:02:00.001+11:00

OH i LOVE this new blog skin... this is my ultimate fantasy when i was a kid....

to take off my slippers, dive into the sea and morph to a beautiful mermaid, then i wont be afraid of the scary things in the sea!

SUrfing.. right..

2006-11-26T02:29:00.000+11:00

it was suppose to be the good day. but the weather was bad. it was cold and raining and not sunny at all..

it just killed my mood to try out surfing. plus the fact that it was freezing cold and wind blowing like no one's business plus the cold, plus my brusied leg, plus did i say cold?

hahahha well, next time then. i was glad i didnt' decide to surf. i went home and actually felt a little ill even though i just went to the sea wather with my legsssssss wet. not even the body. yes it was that cold!

aiyo.. but i study too much science man.. i LOVE the sea side, i LOVE sand on my feet.(not in my butt crack..) but i hate the creatures that might hurt you in the sea. esp when i read so much stuff about box jellyfish and sharks. but well...

next time, next time...

but i had a GREAT time with my vet frens. we got ot know each other closer! it was a good trip after all! thansk pris for oragnising it!

sleepzzzzzzzzz

relieff

2006-11-22T12:06:00.000+11:00

holy moly.. it's over....................................

no more waking up in the middle of the night with panick attacks.
no more non-stop diarrhoea in the morning before my exams.
no more studying and cramping till 6am in the morning.
no more procastinating my housework, especially clearing the dustbin.
no more headaches, dizziness, sleepyness, tiredness.
no more of my heart beating so fast and hard it feels like it's going to pop out of my chest.

i'm not like woohooo.. more like OMGoodness i'm so glad its over...